thought circles

i know he is worthy of my love, but am i worth his? i must be, if he likes me i guess. i can't untangle the reasons why i feel ugly and unlovable sometimes. who put that self-hating in me? was it my parents, my ex-boyfriend, or was it me? i suppose i'm the only one to blame, since i am what i perceive, what i think. my friend said to just relax around him and remember that i am a beautiful person. i said thank you, that is good advice my friend. sigh, i wish it was easy to always feel good. i wish everyone would feel good about themselves. that alone would solve a lot of the world's problems. he is so beautiful.. i would feel so sad if he stopped liking me. i'm afraid of that. i need to meditate, release my fears and doubts and let my light shine. i think going to school right now and all this science and math is also getting to me. and the hours i work are not real cool either. i feel as if my life is dependent on a cloud of rain, slowed down sparkles and dripping rainbows. feeling free in my dreams, touched by a smile and walking towards a sunny space of golden lullabies... our lives are so precious... i feel like i'm living for the first time. i feel my heart expanding in this awareness of love and the thought of expression.

amma says "fill your heart with love and then express it in everything you do." oh, i am feeling bettre already :)

analog - digital